P4

Table Read Audio

https://soundcloud.com/ethan-lynn-771262583/zoom0118-mp3

This feedback from Sorin was generally positive,  with the main issues being the large amount of exposition in the script, the lack of action aside the explosion, and various plot holes such as the contradicting mechanics of the Life Point system. I can't increase the amount of action or reduce the amount of exposition in the script without rearranging the story structure to a point where the pacing is bad and the story doesn't make sense, but I will shorten the exposition, and try to show more than tell since I haven't done enough of that overall. In response to the formatting criticism I will add in shot types for the final version so that it won't seem like a continuous shot. At the moment I don't have names for the characters, and if they did have names I'd likely introduce them later on in the story since I think the lack of names contributes to the overall themes of the script.

This feedback from Max was overall very positive, but the issues that were mentioned I do agree with. There is a lot of exposition, due to the nature of the story, and I will be trying to shorten it and make the dialogue more natural. The comment on the lab coats is fair but considering they are unimportant to the rest of the story and they most just exist to provide context for other elements of exposition, I think adding more to their characters would be a waste of time.